Almost every afternoon in high school I would come home and complain to parents about my friends. After laughing or rolling their eyes their response always was, “You’ll find your true friends when you are older.” Well mom and dad this is the only time I’m going to say this …. you were right!!
The first couple weeks in Hancock were sweet and simple. Andy and I were still soaking up the honeymoon rays and my friends called, e-mailed, and Facebooked me on a regular basis. They told me how much they missed me and updated me with changes in their lives. I did the same. However, once the weeks started adding up the contact starting minimizing. I noticed the change after about a month, one afternoon I spent an hour on the phone with a friend catching up. I was happy she called, but realized that this could not happen again.
I think the biggest issue that I need to overcome is the fact that life goes on here without me. Just now I came up with this conclusion … I think unconsciously I didn’t call my friends because I didn’t want to face this fact. I didn’t want to hear the new and exciting things that have been happening here without me. (Hey, this writing this is working!)
On top of all this I’ve been having strange dreams where I come home to visit and no one wants to see me or make plans with me. It’s like all my friends forgot about me or I’ve never existed. I know this won’t happen in real life, but it still frightens me. This post might make you perceive me as narcissistic, but if you know me you know that I’m so not self-centered. However, I’m worried that years from now I won’t be friends with the great people I’m friends with now.