Monday, December 20, 2010

Friends Forever?

Almost every afternoon in high school I would come home and complain to parents about my friends. After laughing or rolling their eyes their response always was, “You’ll find your true friends when you are older.” Well mom and dad this is the only time I’m going to say this …. you were right!! 

The first couple weeks in Hancock were sweet and simple. Andy and I were still soaking up the honeymoon rays and my friends called, e-mailed, and Facebooked me on a regular basis. They told me how much they missed me and updated me with changes in their lives. I did the same. However, once the weeks started adding up the contact starting minimizing. I noticed the change after about a month, one afternoon I spent an hour on the phone with a friend catching up. I was happy she called, but realized that this could not happen again.

I think the biggest issue that I need to overcome is the fact that life goes on here without me. Just now I came up with this conclusion … I think unconsciously I didn’t call my friends because I didn’t want to face this fact. I didn’t want to hear the new and exciting things that have been happening here without me. (Hey, this writing this is working!)

On top of all this I’ve been having strange dreams where I come home to visit and no one wants to see me or make plans with me. It’s like all my friends forgot about me or I’ve never existed. I know this won’t happen in real life, but it still frightens me. This post might make you perceive me as narcissistic, but if you know me you know that I’m so not self-centered. However, I’m worried that years from now I won’t be friends with the great people I’m friends with now.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Good-Bye

According to Wikipedia homesickness is a distress or impairment caused by an actual or anticipated separation from a specific home environment or an attachment of an object. I would say this about sums it up for me. Being 500 miles away from friends and family for the first time just sucks!

The first month in Hancock consisted of organizing and unpacking our new (rented) home together. This did  fill up my day until Andy came home from school, but once everything was unpacked and organized a few weeks later I was bored and alone during the day. I cleaned every room a hundred times, but didn't feel a sense of accomplishment. I received that picture message that I spoke of briefly in the last post and thought to myself that morning, "Am I going to wake up and clean everyday?" That was when it hit me, hit me hard. I broke down and decided I needed to do something besides clean and mope around the house all day, every day.

I called around to find a gym thinking exercise would make me feel better, it did. However, it didn't fill up my day, you can only workout for so long until you want to pass out and die. I didn't want to find a job because we are only living in Hancock for a few months. So, after that long talk with Andy I thought I'd Google volunteering positions in the area. I came across Keweenaw Family Resource Center, called, left a message, and within an hour the director called me back. She asked me to interview the next day, I did, and got the job on the spot. Obviously, it isn't a paying position, but it gives me a reason to wake up in the morning and do something, not to mention it looks great on my resume!

After two months of volunteering I have to say good-bye on Thursday. I’ve connected with so many people at the KFRC and actually made a little business for myself. I began babysitting a few time weeks for families who attend; this really helped me stay busy. However, part of me wishes that I didn’t follow this avenue because now I’m incredibly attached to the employees, parents, and children. It is going to be really hard to say good-bye in couple days. I know I didn’t do a great deal of work for the KFRC, but I know that I helped them a little due to all the thank you’s and praise I receive every day. I’m really going to miss them and everything they do for the children around the area. If you’d like to know more about the KFRC visit their website, (http://www.kfrckids.org/) it is a wonderful non-profit!

The reason why I’m saying good-bye to the KFRC after only two months is because Andy and I are moving to Santa Fe, New Mexico for our next adventure. Andy landed a position at Los Alamos National Laboratory and is very excited to put his six year of education and knowledge to work. Now … it is time for me to find a job!!  



Thursday, December 9, 2010

Chapter One

I came across this quote the other day, “Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”  This made me think of a night when I initiated a conversation with my husband about all the changes in our life together that have happened, are happening, and are going to happen.

In August, I graduated college, got married, and moved out of my parent’s house for the first time, three really big accomplishments! To be honest, moving wasn’t hard at first because when my husband and I were dating we were 500 miles away from each other for four years. I was excited to finally be with him all the time, but I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be after the honeymoon stage faded away. This strange feeling came flowing through me when I received a picture message of my friend’s new baby girl early one morning, it broke my heart that I missed the most important time in her life. That night I brought up my feelings to my husband, after about an hour of talking we concluded that I am just homesick. I didn’t know being homesick felt so bad!

I was searching for ways to help me get over it, looking at photos on Facebook, e-mailing family and friends, and Skyping made it worse. I found the quote above and after reading into it thought writing might help me … and others.

I love to write and have always wanted to start a blog, but never knew what to write about, now that I have found something, or something found me, I’m going to start!